Hey everyone, I wanted to share with you a note I sent to some colleagues on Sept. 10, 2010. This came after I had my immersion experience with the Holy Spirit and later I started to pray "in secret." I write this to encourage everyone who has been part of the revival to seek God in solitude and silence - Our Father wants us to meet Him in secret, where He will reward us. I have found the reward is Himself, and He is so good, more than any of us can imagine. My prayer for our campus is that we would be more excited about seeking God than about talking about revival. He wants us to want HIM! He is so GOOD! All for His Glory!
I've been thinking about the transformation the Spirit has been working in my life since I began praying in secret. I thought I would give you a short update on the experience, if for nothing more than documentation of the Holy Spirit's power and goodness. Perhaps it may encourage you as well - and it gives me much joy to share this with you:
The more I pray in secret and seek His face, the more I simply desire to be with Him and Him alone. I have no strivings or desires other than to be with Him. He is so beautiful and good. He is sweet, and perfect, and true, and wonderful. All else fades compared to His majesty and beauty. Nothing compares to Him. I have no desire for success, no desire to be heard, or seen, or known - simply no ambition to be anything other than in His will and in His manifest Presence. I simply have no need for any of those other things anymore, for I have Him, and His grace is sufficient. I find myself turning to Him almost moment-to-moment throughout the day, desiring His Presence only, not with requests or for intercession, but simply to be in His Presence, to be with Him and to enjoy Him in joy and fellowship and love.
Today I was reading John 10:14-15: "I am the Good Shepherd; and I know My own, and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father." (NASB). Isn't that beautiful? We are His own, and we know Him with the same 'knowing' that He has with the Father. Why desire anything but Him? So good.
Nothing now causes me wild alarm. Students, faculty, staff, and family come to me with their concerns and drama, and in some ways it amuses me...it's almost like it confuses me..it all seems so small and trivial compared to knowing Him, and it's like I can't seem to understand why there would ever be worry or cause for alarm or gossip or the like. (Another professor was expressing some concerns/ideas to me today, and it was like all I could hear was "blah, blah, blah, blah"). It's really a strange and a new experience for me. He is Shalom Shalom - Perfect Peace. In Him there is no fear, for perfect love drives out fear. I have never known this kind of bliss before - what a small taste of what heaven certainly shall be like - to be present with Him. What a joy divine.
It's the peace - the shalom - that has surprised me. (Maybe I should write a book like CS Lewis and NT Wright - "Surprised by Shalom" - haha). What would our world be like if all Christians rejected Satan's lies and truly believed God's Word - that He is Love, He is Good, He is Just, He is Truth, He is Faithful? So few, it seems, really truly believe these truths deep in their hearts...what a grief it must be to our Father for so many not to truly trust Him, to not believe that He always and only wants what is good and best for them.
Anyway, that's where praying in secret has led me. Very awesome. Jesus really knew what He was talking about when He told us to pray this way. The Father DOES reward us, beyond anything we can imagine! :D
The more I pray in secret and seek His face, the more I simply desire to be with Him and Him alone. I have no strivings or desires other than to be with Him. He is so beautiful and good. He is sweet, and perfect, and true, and wonderful. All else fades compared to His majesty and beauty. Nothing compares to Him. I have no desire for success, no desire to be heard, or seen, or known - simply no ambition to be anything other than in His will and in His manifest Presence. I simply have no need for any of those other things anymore, for I have Him, and His grace is sufficient. I find myself turning to Him almost moment-to-moment throughout the day, desiring His Presence only, not with requests or for intercession, but simply to be in His Presence, to be with Him and to enjoy Him in joy and fellowship and love.
Today I was reading John 10:14-15: "I am the Good Shepherd; and I know My own, and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father." (NASB). Isn't that beautiful? We are His own, and we know Him with the same 'knowing' that He has with the Father. Why desire anything but Him? So good.
Nothing now causes me wild alarm. Students, faculty, staff, and family come to me with their concerns and drama, and in some ways it amuses me...it's almost like it confuses me..it all seems so small and trivial compared to knowing Him, and it's like I can't seem to understand why there would ever be worry or cause for alarm or gossip or the like. (Another professor was expressing some concerns/ideas to me today, and it was like all I could hear was "blah, blah, blah, blah"). It's really a strange and a new experience for me. He is Shalom Shalom - Perfect Peace. In Him there is no fear, for perfect love drives out fear. I have never known this kind of bliss before - what a small taste of what heaven certainly shall be like - to be present with Him. What a joy divine.
It's the peace - the shalom - that has surprised me. (Maybe I should write a book like CS Lewis and NT Wright - "Surprised by Shalom" - haha). What would our world be like if all Christians rejected Satan's lies and truly believed God's Word - that He is Love, He is Good, He is Just, He is Truth, He is Faithful? So few, it seems, really truly believe these truths deep in their hearts...what a grief it must be to our Father for so many not to truly trust Him, to not believe that He always and only wants what is good and best for them.
Anyway, that's where praying in secret has led me. Very awesome. Jesus really knew what He was talking about when He told us to pray this way. The Father DOES reward us, beyond anything we can imagine! :D
Katie,
ReplyDeleteRecently I've been trying hard, trying too hard it seems, to be close to God. I've been feeling frustrated, worn out, etc. I've been afraid that I'm not "living adequately" not "measuring up". I feel like every action is a fail, fail, fail...The joy and peace was being stolen. Which was just one more thing that "wasn't right".
I'm just seeing this--I simply need to be grateful, humble, and obedient. Then peace & joy will flow. And obedience is not about acheivement, but rather submitting constantly in trust and adoration of the Mercy of Christ. He IS beautiful and *good*.
Today I hope to walk in this peace, in this Trust.
Bless you.
Hey I really agree with when you said, "...be more excited about seeking God than about talking about revival". THAT WAS AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteI have totally thought and felt just that for a long time during my experience at Bethel when people have talked about wanting revival so much. The other thought I have is that there are different types of revival and I believe that God appreciates each and every one!
Don't get me wrong, Hermi - I still pray fervently for revival. I believe the church in America needs an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that leads to entire sanctification. The revival often leads people to want God above all things - and that is the goal. Revival is one means to get there. I want the Spirit to be poured out - continuously. We need Him to be our Fountain of Life. Psalm 87:7: "all my springs are in You." Personally, I want God to pour out His Spirit so that we are all on our faces worshipping Him, in adoration of who He is.
ReplyDelete