Well, I am long over-due for a blog posting. I have been on
a sort-of-self-imposed hiatus the past few months. There are several reasons for this, but I
think the main reason is that God has been calling me to go deeper with Him and
to practice the disciplines of silence and hiddenness, in order to teach me
more about abiding in Him and sharing in His oneness. At the beginning of the
summer, I believed God was calling me to go deeper in the ministry of
intercession, but as the season progressed I found myself more and more
contemplating abiding in Him, remaining in the vine as His little branch, and
seeking the oneness with Him that Jesus promises in John 15-17. I now understand that God was preparing me
for true intercession through this time of learning about abiding and oneness
in Him. How can we pray as Jesus prays, Our Great Intercessor, unless we are one with Him in mind, soul, and spirit?
Half way through the summer, the Lord gave me two prophetic
dreams, each about one week apart. They were
so intense I woke up from them and could not go back to sleep but could only
pray and seek His face. Both were about a wedding. In the first dream, I was at
my parents’ home where I grew up, and we were getting ready to go to my
wedding. The only thing I was concerned about was finding my shoes. I was just
obsessed with finding the shoes, to the point that I couldn’t remember what
time the ceremony started, and I was pretty nonchalant about it (“Oh well, we’ll
be late, we can cancel if we need to. Where are my shoes?” And I totally had
the time wrong! What bride does not know what time the wedding starts?) The main thing I realized after I woke up was
that I had no idea who I was marrying and was unconcerned about him. I wasn’t even that excited about the
wedding. As I talked to others about
this dream and prayed about it, two interpretations became obvious. First, the
dream is, in some ways, about the state of the church. We are majoring in the minors. Instead of
being concerned about Our Groom and seeking oneness with Him, we are
self-centered and focused on less-important things. Second, as I prayed through
this dream the Lord showed me that it was about my own spiritual formation to
Christlikeness and my own sanctification. Do I want God? Do I want oneness with
Him? Or am I still self-focused and concerned about what the world thinks about
me rather than what God thinks about me and wants of me? Am I still trying to
be in control of my sanctification (as if un-holy me could actually sanctify
myself)? Or am I willing to trust God to draw me into oneness with Himself and
to keep me “hidden in Christ in God?” Do I trust that it is His work, that HE
is faithful, that HE will do it?
As I prayed through this dream and all God was showing me,
He gave me a second dream. In this dream, it was the night before my wedding,
and in this dream the Father of the Groom came to see me, just me, and he gave
me a gift – a wedding dress for me to wear. It was a very simple, short, white linen
dress with some vines embroidered on it in shades of green. It was not fancy –
nothing at all like what the world considers a beautiful or appropriate wedding
gown. The dream was totally opposite the first one in emotion. In the first,
the whole affair seemed tainted, gaudy, imperfect, just a show for the world,
and a complete act of self-centeredness on my part. In the second dream, the
encounter was perfect, and I knew the moment was pure, holy, and sacred. The
focus was not on me, but on the one who stood before me and on the groom. The second
dress was life-giving, a symbol of holiness and purity, whereas the first dress
and the shoes were a representation of the shallowness and un-holiness of the world
and what the world considers important. In the second dream I had no need for
shoes – for my entire focus was on the Groom and His desires and being perfect
for Him and Him alone. What the world
thought about me was insignificant and did not matter. The interpretation of this dream came from the
Lord a few days later in a time of solitude and silence. The Father showed me that He was the Father
of the Groom, and that the gift He was offering me was to be clothed in the
Holy Spirit as preparation for oneness with the Son, and through the Son, oneness
with the Father. God was showing me that unity with Him is a gift, it is not
something we can earn or can work towards. We simply must surrender to Him and
accept His sanctification as a pure, holy, offering. I also saw how God simply delights in offering
us this beautiful gift of Himself. His desire is that we would be conformed to
the image of His Son (Romans 8:29) and that we would be one with Him (John
17). I also saw that this oneness with
God, finding our holiness and purity
with Him, was the greatest aim, the most important goal of our existence. Once
you have encountered God like this, nothing and no one else will do. He is All,
and all your longing and desire is for Him.
Just think on this, take time to contemplate the truths that
Jesus speaks about in John 15-17. We are invited into the dance of the Trinity –
to literally be one with God Himself.
The word Jesus uses for this oneness is perechoresis which literally
means “to dance within or to whirl within.” The Father, Son, and Spirit invite
us into this dance – to be their bride and to be one with them in mind, heart,
soul, and spirit. What a thought! This Holy God, this Author of Grace, this
Source of All Goodness, the Purest Love, the One who defines Himself as Love,
invites us - poor, wretched, fallen sinners - to be one with Him through the
blood of the Lamb, which not only saves us, but also sanctifies us. When I
think of this, I just want to fall to my knees, place my face on the ground,
and offer all of myself to Him in complete and absolute surrender. What a holy
and awesome God we have, to love us THIS much!
A couple of weeks ago I was at worship at Bethel, and the
Lord spoke to my heart once again, “Your goal has been revival, but it should
have been Me. I AM the Goal.” I stood in
adoration and silence before Him. He was right. The Goal is God. Oneness with
Him. Abiding in Him. Christ in us, the Hope of glory. Revival is just one means to lead us towards
this one goal. It is not that we shouldn’t
pray for revival, but the one thing for which we must pray and set our hearts
is oneness with Him - to have His very character and heart formed in us, to
desire and want Him above all things, to desire to be clothed in Him and to walk
as His Beloved in purity and holiness, abiding in Him every moment, having Christ manifest Himself through us as we live solely for Him.
Come Holy Spirit,
invite us into the dance of the self-giving love of the Trinity, and give us
the desire to surrender wholly to You, to be yours and yours alone. Give us, O Christ, the desire to have your
very mind and heart formed within us. Draw us into yourself that we may be hid
in Thee and love Thee with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. You are All,
and may we long for Thee as the deer pants for water. Give us the courage and
strength to reject the world’s ways and to deny ourselves so that we may be
wholly yours, and yours alone. Keep us,
O Divine Father, in the Vine. Prune us and tend us so that we may bear fruit
that brings glory to Your Holy Name. Grant us the faith to trust you to do the
work in us and through us. Teach us true humility and true holiness, that we
may be one with Christ. May we not be self-seeking, but ever seeking after You,
for You, and You Alone, are the Goal of all.
